Day 5 – This wasn’t in the plan

I opened my eyes this morning and for a second – just a second – I thought I was feeling better. But when I started moving, breathing and, well, thinking, I realised I wasn’t better. I was just the same as yesterday. Or maybe a bit worse. Maybe.

When I woke up, I had no fever. Two hours later, mild fever. Two hours after that I’m weeding the the garden in the sunshine. Two hours after that I’m laid out on the couch barely able to comprehend ‘Escape to the Country’.

All this time my absentee smell receptors and the bold purple T stripe from this morning’s test is not letting me forget the fact my body is a Petri dish, and I am sick.

I am looking for patterns. Looking for a way to make a plan, make a prediction, take control. But there is no pattern. No plan. I have to be patient. Be a patient.

And all this time I am not in intensive care. All this time I am not dying in a car outside an Indian hospital.

This is fine.

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